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Dearly Beloved...
We are gathered here 2day 2 get through this thing called life
Atlantic word, "life," it means 4ever and that's a mighty long time,
But I'm here 2 tell U something...
There's something else.
The surface world...
A beautiful world of never-ending consumption and U can always see the surface men
Day or night...
And if the undercurrent tries to break U down,
Get Wavy
And drop a fathom down...!
If U don't like--the world U're living in
Take a look around
Least U got fins
I got a hate on
For the whole surface world
Got a big prawn,
For the Invisible Girl,
Hey now are U gonna let the undercurrent take U down?
Oh, no let's go!
Let's get way-hey-vey,
Let's get moist!
Let's look for the purple sea snake
'Til the mermaids all rejoice...
NAMORITA: That was a righteous set, cousin!
DORMA: Truly, my love, you were very "rockin." The crowd was very much "hot!"
PRINCE NAMOR: Screw that, I command thee! How is the Avenging Son's hair?
DORMA: Your hair is very high, my love.
NAMORITA: It's the highest in all Atlantis!
DORMA: It piles high like the black smoking towers in the Marianis Trench, and it is ever so greasy, just like the surface man in that movie, this I vow.
NAMOR: ...And my pants? R they both tight and feminine? Is the view of my rear simply 2, 2, 2 mouth-watering? Do not attempt 2 lie 2 a scion of Atlantis!
DORMA: Oh, yes, my love. Your trousers both revealing and strangely-womanly...
NAMOR: Ur words reek of deceit!
NAMORITA: No, no, it's true, cousin. And you totally rocked the room, too!
NAMOR: Well...it is difficult 2 rock this room. While my people r far advanced in many ways beyond the cursed surface-dwellers, it is true that they do not yet understand the meaning of a "dance club." Little do they understand the value of glitter paint.
ATTUMA: AHA! So the pathetic, weak princeling believes he has a hot band, eh? Sit back and watch how a REAL superstar does it!
MERMAN MC: Ladies and gentleman: ATTUMA AND THE TIME.
ATTUMA: Do the fish! Squack! Hallelujah! Woah woah woah woah! ABALONE: Hey, man, don't listen to that big jerk. I really dug your song.
NAMOR: Owwwah! Truly, U r watta-tight, lovesexycool, aiyaya!
ABALONE: My name's Abalone. I'm a pretty good singer and dancer...maybe you could use me?
Namor hops onto a passing megaladon... NAMOR: Get on.
ABALONE: This is nice, riding with you, Namor.
NAMOR: I have decreed that I shall now be called the Artist Formerly Known As Prince Namor.
ABALONE: Well...okay. Sorry. You know, at first, I was like all the other Atlanteans--I was confused by your obsession with this bizarre surface-world musician, what with the hair and the ridiculous clothes...
NAMOR: Do not mock the Purple One! Truly does he exemplify the funk!
ABALONE: Yeah, yeah, of course...sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. I just meant that, now I see that you're trying to reach out to the young ones...
NAMOR: I command U 2 disrobe and jump in2 the waters of Abyssal Minnetonka!
ABALONE: Let me guess, this is some sort of initiation I need to pass to get into the band, right?
NAMOR: Er...alrightie!
DORMA: Namorita?
NAMORITA: Yes, Dorma.
DORMA: Is the water warm enough?
NAMORITA: Yes, Dorma.
DORMA: Shall we begin?
NAMORITA: Yes, Dorma.
DORMA: I was swimming when I wrote this, forgive me if I go downstream
NAMORITA: But Namor saw this movie and because he is our liege supreme...
NAMOR: ...Now U all must dress like pirates, all in puffy shirts and seven-inch heels...
And party on the dance floor like u're mating with electrical eels... ALL: Cause they say two thousand zero zero global warming Oops!
Outta time!
And 2night we're gonna party like it's nineteen eighty-nine. NAMOR: For the last time, the Avenging Son shall not play ur stupid songs!
DORMA: But, my love...!
NAMORITA: You know, you can really hurt people. Doesn't that make you feel like kelp?
NAMOR: ...U do not understand. Atlantean youth...they are no longer concerned with the old ways. And because of the brilliance of Prince's music, I am able to warn them of the dangers of the surface world. Now I command U 2 shut up and look for my mascara.
NAMOR: Dig if u will this picture...
A surface man engaging a net...
Murdering thousands of dolphins
Cowards, my darling, they don't even need 2 get wet...
Touch if you will my ankles,
Feel my trembling wings
U got 2 wonder how I can manage
2 fly at all on the strength of these dinky-ass things...
How can they just throw their garbage
In2 the shimmering sea?
Why do they worship the rainforest
Why doesn't Sting do a benefit for me?
Maybe I'm just like my mother,
The surface world I can't deny...
Why do we war with each other?
This is what is sounds like, when fish fry.
NAMORITA: Cousin! Abalone has been eaten by an eel!
NAMOR: It is sad 2 hear, but the show must go on...IMPERIUS SEX!
DORMA: EVERYBODY DANCE!
NAMOR: I was singing in a show a thousand fathoms below
When she swam her way on up 2 the bar
My hair stood up because, it was just like the buzz
When I plugged in my electric guitar
It seems that she was busy wearin' something close 2 nothin'
She woulda made a heavenly meal
Deep under the ocean, I got the same notion
As a hornified and hungry eel
Ate by a raspberry moray...
The kind U thought... wouldn't do U no harm
A raspberry moray...
And isn't it cruel the way he chewed off her arm...
A raspberry moray...
It ate my lov-oh, oh-ver!
A YABS REMINDER: Thousands of Atlanteans are killed every year by plastic soda can holders. Throw them in the forest, where they belong!
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![[Purple Reign]](http://images.comicbookresources.com/yabs/purplereign_1.gif)
![[Purple Reign --------------]](http://images.comicbookresources.com/yabs/purplereign_rule.gif){kind=small}
